


The Snake Feelings

by Probs_to_old_for_this



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Anxiety, Canon Queer Character of Color, Canon Queer Relationship, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Movie: The Old Guard (2020), Protective Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Soft Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Soft Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Team as Family, no beta we die like they don't, this is soft y'all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:07:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27812023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Probs_to_old_for_this/pseuds/Probs_to_old_for_this
Summary: Joe finds himself too anxious to eat much sometimes. The team supports him through it by listening to him and making a weird inside joke. Entirely love, support, and comfort with like 10% hurt on the side.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 6
Kudos: 62





	The Snake Feelings

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [Los sentimientos como las serpientes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29203599) by [Probs_to_old_for_this](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Probs_to_old_for_this/pseuds/Probs_to_old_for_this)



> Hello! I got so much positive feedback from my last fic I thought I'd try my hand at a more Joe centered one! CW for discussion of an unspecified eating disorder, mentions of throwing up (but it doesn't happen, nor is described).
> 
> Like my precious fic, I am once again projecting my own weird anxieties onto these characters. The issues with eating mentioned here I'm not sure are a recognized eating disorder, and the descriptions are just based on how I have felt before. It's kinda weird and specific and also a thing snakes do apparently ? But I feel like Joe would definitely understand this feeling so here it is

This morning found the Guard having breakfast before packing up and heading off on a private jet to Argentina. "Very nice Copley! Still haven't even _nearly_ redeemed yourself but, at this rate, you might get there before you die of old age" Andy had said, grinning ear to ear, when Copley made the arrangements for them. 

Nile and Andy were sat on one side of the breakfast table, Nicky and Joe on the other, enjoying their pastries and the Turkish coffee Nile knew would take her at least 20 years to get used to. Andy was reading the newspaper like the old soul she truly is, and Nile was underlining words she didn't understand from the paper for her endless language study to catch up with her family. Nicky appeared to be pleasantly looking out the window, though anyone who knew him at all would know he was really keeping watch. Joe was zoning out, staring into his coffee, as if his mind was not fully awake yet. 

Joe sipped his coffee, took a bit of his pastry and grimaced. Nicky turned to him, eyebrows raised, not even needing words for Joe to know he was asking _alright, my love?_

Joe sighed and reached for Nicky's hand. "I cannot bring myself to eat, my Love, I'm sorry." he said in their mix of ancient Arabic and Italian. 

Nicky stroked Joe's hand that he held. "That's okay, just try to eat something small when you feel you can, Amore." he said, giving Joe a small encouraging smile. 

"I will, Hayati, thank you." Joe replied, giving his love a short kiss. He then slid the remainder of his pastry to Andy, as he knew it was her favorite. 

"You done?" Andy asked even as she lifted the pastry to her mouth. 

Joe half smiled and shrugged. Andy took a bite, looking at the man quizzically for a moment before she understood. 

"Oh," She asked quietly, Joe continued sipping his coffee as Andy brushed her hand on his forearm, "Anything we can do to help?" She asked, her eyes portraying her typical seriousness of , _I am your boss and if you need something you better tell me_ , order, while her voice conveyed the caring, big sister concern that she felt. 

Nile looked up from her paper to Andy and Joe, curious about what was ailing Joe and wanting to help how she could help. 

Joe laughed and gave Andy a sad smile "not unless you want to drive to Argentina from here." 

Andy's small smile disappeared as realization dawned on her. "Oh, shit, the flight. I'm sorry Joe, I didn't think about it resembling..." 

"La, no, it's fine, it's not your fault. Honestly, I think I would feel this way on any plane so soon..." he trailed off, staring into his coffee cup once again, but met Andy's gaze again to say, "I'll be fine after the flight, I promise". 

Andy nodded and gave his arm another comforting pat before moving to fold away her newspaper, no longer in the mood for reading. 

Nile had leaned over to Nicky towards the end of Joe and Andy's words, not wanting to interrupt them but wanting to understand. She only got as far as raising her eyebrows and inhaling to speak before Nicky understood what she was going to ask. 

"Ah, you're wondering about... pues, Joe is... worried about throwing up on the plane essentially." Nicky replied, looking at Joe, silently asking if this was a conversation he wanted to have with Nile now or later. Nicky knew his Heart was one to have conversations in the moment, as he found it therapeutic. Andy and Joe had stopped talking, and Joe smiled softly at Nicky in reply. 

Nile turned to Joe, "I have some medicine I used to take when flights still made me nauseous, it just makes you really sleepy but that's not a horrible state to be in for a 12 hour flight" she said, trying to keep the atmosphere light and unintrusive. 

Joe smiled and truly felt some of the tightness in his chest dissipate. He was surprised and so happy to keep finding these moments where Nile became more and more her own part of the team, rather than filling the shoes of someone else. Immediately offering any way she understood to support her team members. "Thank you Nile, you're too kind, unfortunately I don't think that would help in this situation". He squeezed Nicky's hand softly before bringing his mug back up for a sip. 

Andy reached for his mug before Joe had raised it halfway, “Neither will coffee dumb ass,” she said sternly, but then patted his arm as she stood up and said, “I’ll make you a peppermint chai, it’s got a fourth of the amount of caffeine.” and retreated to the kitchen.

"He is not worried of nausea on the flight exactly," Nicky supplied before Joe continued, 

"I sometimes have this feeling, an anxiety, about not being ready to fight... to protect my family. Sometimes it manifests like I am worried I should not be drinking alcohol, which is pretty logical. Other times, like today, I worry that if I have a full stomach I will be sluggish in battle and I fear that would allow you all to be harmed... Sometimes if I feel full, I'm worried we will be attacked and I won't be as agile and, so, in those cases I throw up…” he said, shaking his head slightly before continuing. “And that is just unpleasant so, when I feel this anxiety, I opt to just eat small meals throughout the day to feel lighter and not worry about it." Joe trailed off but huffed a laugh and went on to add " I know that must sound ridiculous but," he shrugged, "it is how I feel." 

"Okay, yeah, no I get it" Nile said, nodding in comprehension, "and specifically today you're anxious about the plane because of... your last plane trip" she concluded, cringing a bit at her choice of words but not wanting to say the name _Merrick_ ever again. 

"Sì," he said as Andy returned with a steaming mug in her hands and gave Joe a half hug and a kiss to his head before returning to her chair at the table. 

"Grazie,” he said, taking a sip of the tea before continuing. “Nicky and I were put on that fancy private jet, like what we're taking today, and I already know how I will feel on such a plane for so long... Reminds me of that time, and those people, and how I couldn't protect Nicky even when we were only four feet apart..." Joe said, his voice nearly breaking towards the end, looking up at Nicky, appreciating the fact that they were together while fearing the possibility of being apart. 

Nicky took Joe's hands in his and brought them to his lips before saying, "Habibi, I also could not protect you as I wanted... that was the fault of no one except those bastardi, va bene?" He said as he brought his hand to Joe's cheek. 

Joe gave him a chuckle and responded, "as always you're correct, Amore... I just don't want to feel less than perfectly prepared to protect my family", he says and looks at all of them in turn before returning to Nicky, "I will always fight to protect you, Hayati." 

"And I you, my Love" Nicky says before continuing, "But you must eat a small something before we go, I know you'll be less able to eat on the plane." Joe sighed knowingly as he eyed the plate of pastries uneasily. 

"Anyways," Nicky continued, in a voice Nile could already tell was his teasing voice, "if you pass out from low blood sugar then how will you fight for me?" Nicky said, laying the back of his hand against his head and leaning back dramatically. 

The whole table chuckled as Joe rolled his eyes and gave Nicky a kiss on the cheek, “Okay, okay”, he said, before reaching for an apple from the bowl of fruit on the table. 

"I'll eat this apple and... these crackers" he said as he settled back down. Nicky crooked his eyebrows at him when Joe didn't move further. 

"Later", Joe tried, knowing this was a battle he would lose. He added after a moment of silence, pointing at Nicky "I'll eat the apple now, and the crackers in a few hours before we go." he stated, though it was really a question to see if his Love would challenge him more on this. 

Nicky's face relaxed as he nodded, knowing any further pushing would just make his Love feel more uncomfortable. 

Joe bit into the apple, grimacing only slightly, and looked on the table for something other than food to put his focus on. He was considering taking the paper Andy had abandoned in lieu of cleaning her knife when Nile chimed in, 

"you know snakes are like that," she said. Nile could tell Joe wanted a distraction, and offered the only piece of information living rent free in her brain at the moment. 

Joe crooked his eyebrows at Nile, amused at wherever this was going, "Pardon?" 

"Yeah like, when they're in danger or there's a predator and they've eaten recently, snakes are, like what you said they... expel their food to get away quicker. Or they take food back to their home instead of eating out in the open." 

The table fell silent as they all looked at Nile confused and a bit amused. Nicky hummed at the fact, Joe looked thoughtful, and Andy looked like she was wondering where the hell Nile learned such information. 

"What? I watched a lot of Animal Planet as a kid... and for some reason I remember random snake facts." Nile said in defense. 

Andy chuckled and continued to clear her knife. 

Joe laughed, "Huh, who would have thought. Maybe it isn't such a strange anxiety after all." 

Andy smiled warmly, "never was Joe." 

The heartfelt moment lasted a second longer before Nicky added, a mischievous grin on his face, "we should refer to these feelings as the snake feelings" he said with a laugh, knowing Joe would find this new weird inside joke annoying and heartwarming at the same time. 

Joe rolled his eyes, but was chuckling. "Okay... I would hate it more if it wasn't so damn accurate." He said, happy to be surrounded by those that acknowledged his serious feelings while also making fun of the silliness of life in a way only a family can get away with.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know Italian or Arabic (yet!) But I used these words that I hopefully translated correctly. If not, just let me know and I can correct them:
> 
> Amore - Italian - love  
> Hayati - Arabic - my life  
> La - Arabic - no  
> Pues - Spanish - used like "well..." or "so..." when speaking and kind of trailing off. When I translated this to Italian I wasn't sure if the usage also translated the same so... fight me Nicky knows Spanish!  
> bastardi - Italian - bastards  
> Va bene - Italian - okay/alright


End file.
